The Struggles
by fanfictionwriter01
Summary: Chad Danforth is straight, completely straight. Or so he told himself.
1. Intro

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story, all rights reserved to Disney and High School Musical, and all that jazz. Thanks for reading. Also the rating is because of language and some mature content. **_

* * *

_**Intro.**_

"I'm straight. I'm straight. I. Am. Straight." Chad said aloud to himself. He was standing in his bedroom in front of his mirror, watching his reflection stare back at him. Chad just didn't understand, why he was feeling _this way_. For he was a major player on the basketball court, well a key player in numerous sports, actually. He found it so hard for himself to find out who he really was.

Once again he spoke, "Chad Danforth, you like girls." However he knew that his voice was far too shaky to sound convincing to anyone, most importantly himself. He slammed his hand against the wall, and flung onto his unmade bed. An unstoppable tear fell down his face, he told himself he was acting like a baby and that this was all crazy.

He wondered if it was a normal coming-of-age occurrence for people to question their sexuality. It was no doubt Chad would look at girls and think about how hot they were. However, he was awful at anything remotely romantic with a girl. He had his first kiss at fourteen, and hated it. He thought to himself, that he never wanted that to happen again. He mostly had the kiss to see if he would, well enjoy it. After the kiss, he grew up thinking that maybe the girl was just awful at the practice.

Now, he sits in his room with tears running down his face, and the notion that he was completely _straight_.


	2. One

**_One._**

Chad sat in the library alone, pretending to study for an exam next period. He held a book up, so a passing by teacher could not spot him on his cell phone. Ryan sat down across from him, giving him a small smile. Chad nodded his head, and returned to look at his phone. Chad looked around the library to see that no one was in sight. Then out of impulse he blurted, "Have you kissed a guy?"

Ryan looked up from his textbook with a confused look, "What?"

"I mean, when did you uh, find out you were, uh, you know...gay?"

Ryan laughed, "No, I have never kissed a boy. _I wish._" Chad felt his stomach make a nervous flip, but quickly pushed the feeling away.

Chad questioned, "Then how do you know that you're gay?"

"I don't have to have kissed a boy to know how I feel. How do you know that you are straight, Chad?"

"Well, you know, uhm, girls are hot." He nervously laughed.

Ryan furrowed his eyebrows, "Are you okay? You're acting strange? Why are you asking me these questions anyways?"

Quickly, Chad slammed his book shut, and stood up muttering a quick, "Never mind." He backed his chair up so fast, he almost tripped, and frantically he walked out of the library.

* * *

Later that night, Ryan sat in his room leafing through a book of music. He set the book down and rolled over to lay on his back, he stared up at his ceiling. Ryan thought about his conversation with Chad in the library earlier. Chad and him had talked, but not about anything too personal. Therefore, the conversation was totally out of character.

Ryan had always thought that Chad acted a little bit too straight, as if he wanted to make sure no one thought he was homosexual. It was kind of a crazy thought, but Ryan had felt that way. He didn't think that Chad was gay. _But I wouldn't mind if he was_, Ryan thought with a small smirk coming across his face.


	3. Two

Chad was having a hard time falling asleep that night. However finally at around midnight, his eyelids began to grow heavy. He felt sleep overcome him...

_An unfamiliar hand was in Chad's, but he didn't feel uncomfortable at all. His eyes swept up, until they landed onto the face of the stranger. To his surprise, the hand belonged to Ryan Evans. His first instinct should have been to let go, but Chad didn't, Ryan did. His hand however found the face of Chad, and his thumb began to trace along his jawline. Chad's hand moved to Ryan, and he gently placed them on his shoulder. _

_Ryan began to move closer to Chad, and immediately Chad knew what he was trying to do. They were now so close, Chad could feel the breath of Ryan's against his. Their lips almost brushed..._

Chad sat straight up in his bed, and whispered, "Good lord, I am _not_ gay." He felt his cheeks, and they were damp with tears, he thought about all the excessive crying he had been doing lately. He threw the covers off his bed, and laid on his side, hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next day, Chad went down to the court during his free period, hoping to blow off some steam. He changed into his warm-up uniform and grabbed a basketball. The first free throw he shot, bounced off the rim, it was something unusual for him to miss a shot. Chad rebounded and missed once again. After the fifth missed shot, he shouted, "WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?"

"Watch your language, Mr. Danforth." A voice called from behind. Chad turned around to see Ryan staring at him from the bleachers of the court, and shook his head. He began to walk over to him as Ryan asked, "What _is _wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" Chad had made it over to Ryan, and sat down on a row in front of him. He saw his hand placed delicately next to his side, and Chad couldn't help but think about the dream he had last night. He remembered the feeling of really _wanting_ Ryan to kiss him.

"Well, I don't know, I mean the conversation in the library? You missing every free throw?"

Chad stood up, "You have been watching me?"

"Never mind that." He smirked at Chad before continuing, "I just want to know what that was all about."

"I uh, I don't know. Just questions I was wondering, I guess." Chad couldn't hold himself to keep eye contact with Ryan.

Ryan shook his head, "We've never really talked before. I just thought it was-

"YOOOOO CHAAAD!" Troy ran onto the court, dribbling the ball skillfully. Chad quickly moved away from Ryan, he hadn't realized how close they were, and rushed down the bleachers to Troy. He grabbed his basketball, and met him at the hoop. Troy lowered his voice and gestured towards Ryan, "Why are you talking to jazz hand boy?"

"Oh it's nothing." Chad glanced at Ryan walking out the door before throwing the ball towards the hoop, missing once again.


	4. Three

The two had not seen each other in one week, mainly because Chad was avoiding Ryan at all costs. It was scaring Chad how much he thought about him, and he felt the best way to stop it would be to just avoid him completely.

However, there was a part of Chad who longed so much for Ryan. He craved to see him once again, and that part of him did not care how much he wanted to see Ryan. Chad had never felt this conflicted about anything before.

Finally, that side had won, and after school on Monday, he walked into the auditorium, assuming Ryan would be there. And he was right. Chad slipped into a seat in the very back, to see him onstage planted at the grand piano. Ryan started pounding out the chords to a song, which Chad did not know. However the lyrics were beautiful, they talked about discovery, and the path to finding the right answers. He couldn't help but think about how relevant the song was to him. Once the song was over, and the last chord was played, Chad started clapping. Ryan was taken aback, for he did not think someone was actually in the audience. He squinted his eyes to see Chad standing in the last row.

Chad began to make the long trek all the way to the stage and he shouted, "Man that was amazing!"

"Well thanks?" Ryan said apprehensively.

"What's that song called?" Chad questioned once he made it up the stairs to the stage, it was actually his first time being on the stage.

"The Struggle. I wrote it."

Chad's eyes widened, "That was really good. You're super talented, you know that?"

Ryan could feel his cheeks getting pink before he mumbled, "It's nothing." There was a silence between them, before Ryan continued, "What are you doing here anyways?"

"I don't know, I guess I've always just wanted to explore the theatre?"

"Really?" Ryan raised an eyebrow, shocked at the response.

"Why not?"

"I could show you around."

And Ryan did exactly that. They explored the intricate labyrinth of the backstage, and Chad had to admit, he was fascinated. Ryan took the time to explain all the uses for each room or pulley system or prop backstage, and Chad listened to every word. However, Ryan, couldn't stop thinking about how Chad had changed, he would never have done this a year ago. _Heck,_ Ryan thought,_ he wouldn't have done this a month ago._

* * *

At around 7:30 that night, Chad noticed he was getting a call from Troy. "What's up?" He answered.

"Dude, you missed practice." Troy sounded upset on the other end.

"Shit." Chad cursed under his breath before apologizing, "Look man I am sorry, I had an uhm appointment. Tell Coach, that it won't happen again."

"It better not." Troy replied curtly before hanging up.

Chad threw his phone on his bed, grabbed a basketball, ran down the stairs of his house, and outside. He began to shoot some hoops in his driveway, but with each shot he thought about Ryan. It was becoming the norm for Chad to think about him, rather than not.


	5. Four

Ryan stared at the sheet music in front of him, as he laid on his stomach on the floor of his room. He studied the lyrics of the song he wrote about Chad, however he never meant for him to hear it. Even so, Ryan kept replaying the moments between them backstage. There was no denying that Chad didn't seem phased with them being together, and well...alone.

Ryan remembered when he came out of the closet to his family, it was actually quite the funny time. Everyone who he was close to, already knew, and almost were able to finish his sentence before he did. His parents hugged him, and even Sharpay did. From then on, he was known as "the gay" in the school. I mean sure he wasn't the only gay person in school, and he could care less of the sexuality of his peers, for he was judgement-free. However most of his classmates were not as accepting towards Ryan. In middle school, he was bullied almost every day. That was when he started theatre, and he finally found a place where he felt comfortable.

Ryan never thought that he would fall for a jock, let alone a _straight_ jock. However, Chad Danforth was extremely handsome, with an amazing smile, and not to mention that hair. He shook his head, trying to tell himself it would never happen.

* * *

Chad was in class the next day, not paying attention as usual. He stared up at the clock, counting down the minutes before the bell rang, freeing them from the confinements of the classroom. He saw that Ryan was diagonally across from him, and was scribbling notes across a piece of paper. He noticed the way his hand moved, tracing over certain words two times. Ryan seemed graceful in the way he handled note taking, and Chad couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Ms. Darbus standing in the front called, "Mr. Danforth?"

"Erm, what?" He furrowed his brow.

"I assume you were not paying attention, you know what that means." Her voice seemed to trill on that last word and Chad sighed, another painstakingly long detention with her. "See you after class."

Then the bell rang, right on cue, and Chad walked up to the front. Ms. Darbus waited for the class to walk out before she said in a low tone, "I saw you studying Mr. Evans."

"Studying?" Chad spat.

"Yes, I do notice what my students do during my class. And I _saw you_. I am not trying to meddle in your affairs, but please know that if you want to join Drama Club, we welcome you with open arms."

"Gosh no, I wasn't staring and I don't know do theatre stuff."

"Fine, fine... Well no detention for today, just get to your next class on time." Ms. Darbus dismissed him, and Chad walked out of the room, wondering how many others noticed him staring at Ryan.


	6. Five

It was the stereotypical high school party crawling with upperclassman and a whole lot of booze. Chad found himself off to the side of the party, pouring himself another drink. He saw Troy in the middle of the crowd singing out the lyrics to some pop song. Chad knew there was no way Gabi would be here, she stayed away from any rebellious acts. She didn't seem to mind Troy being at the parties, for he did own the title of most popular.

Chad was surprised to see one blonde standing on the opposite side of the room, not surrounded by any people. Instantly, Chad found his feet guiding him towards the guy. He knew it was Ryan, but had no idea why he would be at a party like this. Some girl pulled on Chad's shoulder, distracting him, but Chad shrugged her off and continued to go over to Ryan.

Ryan greeted him once he saw Chad, "Hey."

Chad laughed, "Why the hell are you at this party?"

"Why the hell not?" Ryan answered, and Chad couldn't help a smile escaping him.

"Do you want to, uhm, go outside? It's much quieter, we can you know talk."

"Yeah, sure." Ryan followed Chad out a side door to the backyard of the house. They went to the other side of the lawn and sat behind a tree, away from the party. Ryan noticed Chad's plastic cup, "Are you drinking?"

"That is what us teenagers do at a party. Aren't you?"

"This is ginger ale." Ryan laughed.

Chad joked, "Hard core." He shifted his gaze to Ryan, who was already staring at him. "I have something stupid to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I was kind of staring at you during Darbus's class."

Ryan raised his eyebrows, "You were? Is that why she called on you?"

"Yeah."

"You're kidding?!" Ryan leaned back in laughter, hardly believing what Chad was saying to him. Their eyes met, and Chad didn't shift his gaze. Ryan leaned a bit closer to Chad, and Chad definitely did not mind. They just sat there, taking in each other's features.

And then Chad did the unthinkable.

He closed the gap between the two, their lips pressing. Ryan tensed up surprised, before relaxing into the kiss, and allowing it to deepen. Chad's hands found Ryan's waist, and Ryan intertwined his fingers in Chad's curls. It was slow and gentle, and exactly what Chad wanted a kiss to be like...

"CHAD?! RYAN!? OH MY GOD." A voice yelled from behind the two. Chad quickly pulled away from Ryan, and stood up from him.

He yelled, "Ryan! You perv, get away from me."

Ryan stared up at Chad, looking extremely hurt. Chad turned to see a shocked Troy, and said, "Look, I don't even know him."

"Let's get out of here." Troy shook his head, and Chad followed him around the side of the house.

Chad said in a shaky voice, "I don't know what happened out there, just please don't tell anyone."

And Troy swore that he wouldn't.


	7. Six

The next day Chad received some looks he had never gotten before. As he walked down the hallway, almost everyone stared him down, exchanging whispers with the friend close-by. He wasn't entirely sure what it all meant, but he had a strong feeling.

He saw Troy by his locker with Gabriella at his side. Chad took a hold of Troy's shirt and slammed him against the wall, pinning him without an escape. Chad yelled, "DAMMIT TROY. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TRUSTED YOU."

Troy furrowed his brow, putting his hands up in question, "Chad calm down and let me go." He nodded at his girlfriend, "Gabriella, I will meet you in class. My friend and I need to talk."

Chad was furious, his head was pounding in frustration as he followed Troy into the boys' locker room. Luckily, no one else was to be seen, so the two were alone to talk. Troy said in an even tone, "Let me explain."

"I don't have time for you to _fucking explain_." Chad shook his head.

"Shut up for one minute." He motioned for Chad to sit next to him on the bench, and he finally continued, "I need you to know something. I swear on my life I didn't tell a soul. Man, I could catch you making out with a hedgehog and not give a shit. However, that doesn't mean the person you kissed kept quiet."

Chad quickly stood up and punched the wall next to him, leaving his knuckles bloody and bruised. "What the hell have I gotten into?"

Troy put his hand on Chad's back, "Look, I am here for you. Always. Just try to forget about the party, let's get to class."


	8. Seven

As soon as Ryan had gotten home from the party he ran up to his sister's room. He said in a breathless jumble of world, "Chadkissedme."

Sharpay looked up from her cell phone and shrieked, "What!?"

"Yes. Tongue and everything. He was fucking into it. And then right when Troy saw us, he called me a pervert and acted like it was all my fault."

"Was he at least any good?"

"A bit sloppy for my taste."

"Was he drunk?"

"Yeah."

"They always get sloppy after a few beers." She shrugged and returned back to scrolling though her messages.

Ryan walked back into his room, and began to send texts out to his some of his closest friends. He thought this was harmless, but little did he know that the next day all of East High knew about the interaction between the two.

Ryan walked into school and all the students started hooting as he walked by, yelling things like, "Why don't you just marry Chad now?"

He got to first period and sat next to Zeke who leaned over to him and whispered, "Did you really make out with Chad?"

"Yeah? How do you know that?"

"Oh Sharpay told me."

Ryan turned back toward the front of the class and tried to shut out the whispers behind him.

During his first free period, he went to the music room, for he knew he could find Kelsey there. She was playing a melody on the piano, and Ryan sat down next to her, on the brink of tears. She immediately stopped playing, and said, "Just give me a hug." He wrapped his arms around the girl and she whispered to him, "Listen, Chad is just experimenting with his sexuality. Don't take any of this to heart."

"That doesn't mean that he should experiment with me."

"No it doesn't, but just remember that I am here for you Ryan."


	9. Eight

It was three weeks before the inevitable happened. Chad and Ryan met once again. They were both up at the local coffee shop, and it was Chad who saw him first. It was killing Chad that he hadn't sorted out his feelings towards Ryan yet. So he walked over to Ryan's table nestled in the corner of the abandoned shop.

He sat across from him and said a meager, "Hey."

Ryan looked up and raised his eyebrows, "Get away from me,_ you perv_."

"Oh shut up, I am here to apologize."

"Look, you don't have to. Your drunken kiss was my first kiss, _ever._ Do you find it funny to mess with someone's emotions? Kiss them, then immediately call them names? And ACT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING?" Ryan's hand which gripped his coffee mug, shook violently.

Chad slammed his fist on the table and yelled, "YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY TO TELL THE WHOLE DAMN SCHOOL THAT I MADE OUT WITH YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FUCKING MEANS FOR ME?" His voice cracked and he buried his head in his hands, inevitably he felt tears stream from his eyes. He quickly got up from the table and ran into the bathroom.

He locked the door and kicked the wall, thankfully it was only one stall. He slumped to the floor, his body shaking in sobs. Never had he cried with this intensity, it was as if all his built-up emotions had finally found their way out. After about five minutes, he heard the door crack open, and a person say, "Chad?"

He wiped a tear from his cheek and said, "Why the fuck are you here?"

Ryan closed the door and locked it, "You should lock it next time, if you don't want people to come in."

"I don't want to talk."

"I do." Ryan walked over to him, and sat cross-legged next to him, their knees just touching. "Chad, I know this stage of life is hard. Really fucking hard. But please listen, it will get better for you."

"I just wish that the whole school didn't know what I was going through."

"And that's all my fault, and I am really sorry. I was just so surprised about what happened. I was really hurt, Chad."

"I'm sorry." There was silence between them, which hung through the air, and Chad broke it by saying, "Let's get out of here." Both of them stood up.

However Ryan said, "One last thing."

He gently pushed Chad against the wall, he knew what Ryan was about to do. He entwined his fingers in Chad's curls as he closed the gap between the two. Their lips crashed upon each other's perfectly in sync. Chad pressed his hands against Ryan's chest, beginning to unbutton his plaid shirt. He pulled away from Ryan, and pushed him against the wall, placing small kisses along his jaw. He trailed his lips down his neck, hovering for a moment, and finally moving down Ryan's chest.

He tried unbuttoning his pants, but Ryan moved his hands away, "Whoa Chad, do you really want to do this in a dingy coffee shop bathroom?"

Chad laughed, "I guess I can wait. Your place or mine?"


End file.
